I want to hold the hands of Gods.

Is that really too lofty a goal?

For a long time now, I have been searching for the confluence of who I am as an individual with who I am/want to be as an artist.

The search continues, but the darkness that I have been seeing before me now as a pin-point of light beaming through the tunnel.

Why? I'd imagine that being in full-time training mode has something to do with it, as well as a somewhat voluntary exile into the mountains and deserts of Southern Utah. Here, cut off from my closest friends and the structure of a university, here I am finding myself juxtaposed between two forces: a hotbed of theatrical creativity and the serenity and purification of something those of us who spend far too much time within a city or suburb sorely lack: nature.

Yes, it must be these two forces at work. Day and night, Monday through Saturday, I work alongside some of the best actors in the regional theatre circuit, if not the country. I recognize that their processes aren't drastically different from my own, and yet they are so advanced in their art that I am definitely reminded of a frequent coaching we get back at U of I: "You're going to suck before you can get better."

Yep. No matter how well I feel I have played in larger roles elsewhere, being the minority in a strong company such as USF definitely makes me agree. I'm sucking. I'm going to get better.

I see these actors work. I get melancholic. But then I get inspired. And I think, 'hmm...I am HERE, though, right?' And then I feel better. Monday through Saturday. This is what I go through. And I love/hate it.

Then, on Sunday, inevitably I hit the trails of Zion, or Bryce Canyon, or some other remote yet tangible location. I look at the beauty that has been forged around me through time...and I feel at peace. I am reminded: beauty takes time. In nature. In art. In the self.

I exhaust myself in the absorption of nature, I press my body to the limit. I purge the fear and doubt. Beauty takes time.

So here I am. Two ideologies converging on one another. The summer break is here, I am working on my art, and I am ever still in the seat of training.

Someday I'll get to hold hands with the Gods.

But I have to suck before I can get better.

I have to stay ugly to become beautiful.

Gettin' Elizabethan on your Ass

Yeah, yeah...it's been a couple of weeks, I know.

But I've been busy.

Real fast:

Where I work:




Where I hang out on Sundays:




In short: Life is good.

I really don't have much else to report. Rehearsals for 'Coriolanus' go extremely well, and 'Lend Me a Tenor: The Musical' is proving to be an interesting process (it's a premiere of a new musical...so everything in its creation is extremely organic...the composer and librettist are in the room everyday, making changes on the fly...it's really pretty amazing), and I have my understudy assignments--Tullus Aufidius in 'Coriolanus' and Horace Vandergelder in 'The Matchmaker'...which is pretty funny considering Vandergelder is, you know, sixty...and I, as of yet, am not. Both roles are sizable and will keep me occupied in my off-time.

What else? I bought a bike...I haven't owned a bike in years, but I'm enjoying the exercise everyday as I bike to rehearsal (and save money on gas...it's about $3.40/gallon here in the great South West).

At any rate...that's life.

Hope all is well...

Excelsior!

PS: Mormons are nice people.

PPS: I'm obsessed with Warner Brothers' marketing campaign for the 'Batman Begins' sequel, 'The Dark Knight'. They have a campaign website for Harvey Dent, which reveals this poster:



As well as a mock website that the Joker put up, which looks like this:



Revealing the first shot of Heath Ledger's Joker, per Christopher Nolan and Company:



Effin' scary, yes? Can't wait to see the full get-up on screen...

Ok...bye bye now...

I Have Arrived...

...in Cedar City!



After 1600 miles in 2.5 days, I am finally here. The trip was pretty crappy...terrible weather (tornado watches in Nebraska, sudden ice storms, rain, and blizzards in Colorado), and long, long, long open roads...



...but I am here, and relatively unscathed. I did get into a minor accident in the Rockies when a snow storm literally materialized out of NO WHERE. Good times.



My car is a little banged up...but no major damage...just a chunk of my fender taken out by the headlights. Gotta love plastic cars.



As I got deeper into Utah, I noticed that they, too, have an Elsinore. I think we should build a castle there, as there isn't one. I checked. We could do Hamlet 24/7. "You are welcome, sirs, to Elsinore...UTAH ::Mormon Choir Shouts in Background::We'll teach you to drink caffeine-free ere you depart."



So, I'm settled into my hotel (the Stratford Court, naturally) for the next three days til the festival has my apartment ready. I've already ran into an old colleage from my Pac Rep days who is also doing the festival...I'm pretty much stoked to begin rehearsals.

So, I leave you now to go prep for the week to come. Be good!

In Vino Veritas!

Nebraska? Yeah, it's flat. Thank God for Natalie P!

Well friends and neighbors, Leg One of the trip to Utah is complete. I am currently in Kearney Nebraska, which is about 680 miles from Champaign/Urbana. At least Natalie Portman agreed to roadtrip out here with me. I don't know WHAT I'd do with out her.

I mean, I just ran into her on the street and I was all, "Hey, Nat, I haven't seen you in forever...wanna roadtrip with me?"

And she was all, "Hell yeah! You're the best company a gal can have!"



So there it is!

Unfortunately, she didn't like the hotel room we had to get out here in the middle of nowhere, so she was pretty pissed.



Oh well.

Shut up. I'm tired. I was hallucinating around mile 500.

I head further West tomorrow, and should hit Western Colorado or Eastern Utah by the end of the day. Hopefully I'll have something better to report...

In Vino Veritas!